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Wednesday, 2 December 2020

Saddle Up for some Horse Jokes

Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.


How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start with a large fortune


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A: I put £10 on a horse yesterday who was running against applesB: 
What happened?
A: I lost, he got pipped at the post
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.


What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.


Which side of a horse has more hair?
The outside


"Bob, I can't understand how Bill can have so much luck at cards and be so unlucky with horses."
"That's easy," said Bob. "You can't shuffle the horses." 

A man has a racehorse who never won a race. In disgust the man says, ” Horse, you win today or you will be pulling a milk wagon tomorrow morning.”
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, “Why on earth are you sleeping?”, The horse, half asleep says, “I have to get up at three in the morning.”

A Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists but to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become ... a real night mare.

Thursday, 5 November 2020

What is Equine Flu Anyway?


Equine influenza, or equine flu, is a severe, respiratory disease, regularly found in British horses. Indeed, small outbreaks of the disease occur throughout the country every year, but the last major outbreak came in the spring of 2003, when horse racing stables in Newmarket were particularly badly affected.

The disease is caused by strains of the influenza virus type A, which is akin, but not identical, to the human influenza virus. The good news is that equine influenza cannot be transmitted to humans, but the bad news is that it is highly contagious – in fact, one of the most contagious diseases affecting the British horse population – and can be physically carried by human skin, hair and clothing, as well as by equipment and vehicles.

The equine influenza virus infects the thin, membranous tissue of the upper respiratory tract, causing them to become inflamed and ulcerated. Aside from an abnormally high body temperature, the main clinical signs of equine influenza are a harsh, dry cough – which is the main means by which the disease spreads – and a profuse, watery nasal discharge. The damage areas in the lining of the airways may be penetrated by bacteria, causing secondary infections, including bronchitis and pneumonia.

The treatment of uncomplicated cases of equine influenza consists of strict rest, usually for a week or two, to allow the disease to run its course, but secondary bacterial infections require antibiotic treatment, delaying the recovery period. Clearly, equine influenza has major economic implications for owners, trainers and anyone else involved in horse racing in Britain, so despite complaints from some quarters – not least trainer Nigel Twiston-Davies, who described the measures to contain the disease put in place by the British Horseracing Authority (BHA) as a ‘massive overreaction’, the regulator has every right to be nervous. With the Cheltenham Festival and Grand National just around the corner let me hope that the situation improves over the coming days.

Tuesday, 1 September 2020

Kempton Park Racecourse

As one of the most revered courses in the modern racing circuit, Kempton Park Racecourse has a fantastic reputation. With plenty of entertainment going on here, from the BetBright Chase to the more classical King George XI Chase, this fantastic racecourse offers a great selection of races to come and watch. With over 200 acres of land and a fantastic woodland area that surrounds it, Kempton Park Racecourse has a wonderfully private feel to it.

With an entrance right next to Kempton Park Railway Station, getting in and out is as easy as it should be. With two inner and outer courses joined together for both flat and fenced racing, this allows the course to be as versatile as possible with the races that run here. From January to December, this holds the likes of the Lanzarote Hurdle right through to the famous Desert Orchid Chase to finish the year off.

Outside of racing, you get many antique markets held here as well as wedding fairs. As such, it’s a location with plenty of commercial activity, with regular bookings at the host of restaurants around the place making a fantastic venue to come and visit.

If you want, you can even rent out part of the racecourse for a family function. It makes a fine place for events to be held, making sure that you can have all the fun that you like at the racecourse, then maybe take in one of the numerous excellent races held here!

Wednesday, 12 August 2020

15 Funny and Meaningful Horse Quotes

If your horse says "no", you either asked the wrong question, or asked the question wrong - Pat Parelli

Any money I put on a horse is a sort of insurance policy to prevent it from winning - Frank Richardson

A dog may be man's best friend...but the horse wrote history - Author Unknown

A great horse will change your life. The truly special ones define it… – Author Unknown
I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted - Author Unknown

A man on a horse is spiritually as well as physically bigger than a man on foot.  – John Steinbeck

What the colt learns in youth he continues in old age – French Proverb

A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle - Ian Fleming

A horse doesn't know whether the rider on his back wears a dress or pants away from the track -
Diane Crump

God forbid that I should go to any Heaven in which there are no horses  – R.B. Cunninghame Graham

Whenever I was upset by something in the papers, Jack always told me to be more tolerant, like a horse flicking away flies in the summer - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother -  Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position! - Henny Youngman

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries - Will Rogers

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Federico Tesio