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Sunday, 12 August 2018

Saddle Up for some Horse Jokes

Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.


How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start with a large fortune


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A: I put £10 on a horse yesterday who was running against applesB: 
What happened?
A: I lost, he got pipped at the post
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.


What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.


Which side of a horse has more hair?
The outside


"Bob, I can't understand how Bill can have so much luck at cards and be so unlucky with horses."
"That's easy," said Bob. "You can't shuffle the horses." 

A man has a racehorse who never won a race. In disgust the man says, ” Horse, you win today or you will be pulling a milk wagon tomorrow morning.”
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, “Why on earth are you sleeping?”, The horse, half asleep says, “I have to get up at three in the morning.”

A Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists but to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become ... a real night mare.

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